Dear Fungii: Who the HELL are you?
- I am the Fungii!
- Pablo Escobar.
- Yeah, sorry, my real name is Richard Chaput. Really.
Where did you get the stupid nick fungii?
- I was on the GEnie network way, way back and they had chat rooms and of course you
had to come up with a nickname before entering. So I chose to call myself Mr. Fungushead
right off the top of my head. Don't ask me where i got that from-
Where did you get that from?
- Bastard. Anyway, people laughed at my nick and shit, but Mr. Fungushead was too
long to type out every time so it got shortened to Fungii. And it just kind of stuck.
You know the correct spelling is fungi, with one i?
- Yes, but since I have two eyes, I thought I would spell it that way! Ha ha ha. Ha.
- Fungii = Fun Guy. Get it, Forrest?
- 5'7", that's approximately 60,000 millimeters in metric.
Ha ha ha! You're short!
- So was Napolean. And look, they named an ice cream after him!
And he's dead. Why do you collect tarantulas? Are you some kind of weirdo?
- No, I'm not a weirdo! I've always been fascinated by spiders. When I was a little kid, I did a project
on spiders, with all this info and pictures and shit. I spent all day putting it together and when it was done
I proudly presented it to my parents. They laughed at me and burned it right in front of my tear-stained eyes.
Anyway, I have seven tarantulas.
Place of birth?
- North Bay, Ontario.
So you're Canadian, eh? Were you born in an igloo? Hey, bacon-head, go get me a beer, eh! Ha ha ha.
- Bike Courier. I own my own business, Parkhurst Courier. Its a company of one, me. I've been a courier
for almost 16 years now, about 6 of those on my own.
Holy shit, sixteen years, what a loser! Man you suck-
- That's it, this interview is over, toast. Stick a fork in you, you're done.
Hey, that's not a fork...